5/15/13

Coward

I stoped spending money because Im worried about July.I am worried about the tests for the c word. Still a big fat babywhen it comes to that word and that idea and knowing the tests are due so soon.
I kept myself pretty happy.
Im geting moe worried and nervous now.
But since January when I went for the tests and they gave me this appointment six months away. I breathed. I didnt think about it much. I wanted to have some care free time. Happy time.
I will get back into concentrating on smiling and lauhing.
I drink more green tea. I eat garlic. I cut down on all exept 2 junk foods.I only eat pretzels and  Fritos.
Im ot spending so that if I am in dispair in July i will have some money for spending on things that can make me feel happy even temporary happiness is better then nothing.
On a lighter subject I have planted some tomatoes and herbs and maybe I will get more veggie plants if the garden works out.
What else.Im thinking?
My sleep is improving. I feel tired out after so much green tea. I dont know if that is what makes me tired. May be I wear myself out with the tea? I stop drinking tea at 3:00. Sometimes earlier if Im real hyper.
Today ex hubby is bringing me all his whites to wash. Its nice that he sorted out the colors for me because my place is a mess when I have to seperate the colors from the whites and I have his clothes all over.
My fish are doing good.
 


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